We Can Be Our Own Worst Critic

I’ve noticed that when one of my partners is in a tough situation I can give him the most uplifting and positive advice. When I am in a tough spot, that same officer is going to give uplifting and positive advice right back in my direction.

there seems to be a common aspect to this exchange though. We both realize that the other isn’t going to take our advice. We even vocalize it, saying, “I know you’re not going to stop worrying about this, but…”. It’s a fact of life; we can dish it out, but we can’t receive it. I’m not talking about criticism, I’m talking about advice.

As officers, we are our own worst critic. It’s an undeniable truth. We sit here and we will “Monday morning quarterback” ourselves until the day is dark. We are the worst at expressing our feelings, we are the worst at taking advice when we are in a position of self-doubt. I can’t even count, in my very short career, how many times someone has given me advice that has proven to be 100% correct; however, I refuse to believe it as such.  Yet, I can give solid advice to them, without fail. They will inevitably fail to put their trust in my advice, as it, also, proves to be true.

I am not sure what the solution to this problem is. I wish I did, for it would put an end to a lot of inner turmoil. It is possible that the first step to solving this issue is realizing that we are our own worst critic.

If we realize this and allow it to enter our conscious thought, we may begin a path to combat the refusal to follow the advice of the people with whom we work so close. In the end, who knows a cop better than a cop himself?

Letting Negativity Manifest Into Reality

Once again, I find myself in a situation where I must follow my own advice, but struggle with actually committing to it.

Today, I struggle, as an officer, with allowing my own negativity to manifest into reality. This is something I think a lot of people struggle with but fail to actually realize, especially in our profession. It is possible to allow your own negative thoughts, negative emotions and general negativity to manifest its way into a reality of sorts. 

Some people may say that allowing yourself to always be positive will only lead to disappointment. I can see how this may be true, to an extent. Generally, a positive person is going to be a happy and successful person. Yes, disappointment will happen, it’s a reality of life. We must make a conscious effort to make sure disappointment does not lead to general negativity. This is definitely something that is hard to put into words. I am going to make my best effort to explain. 

A positive person will experience disappointment. A negative person will breed disappointment. If you force yourself to remain positive, disappointment will easily be overcome. If you allow yourself to remain negative, disappointment will only seem common-place and you will expect it. This being said, everything relatively disappointing, that happens in your life, will only feed into your negativity. This will become a cycle that is hard to stop. Disappointment will only go to certify your negativity and negativity will cause for more disappointment. A negative officer is an ineffective officer. An ineffective officer is a dangerous officer. A dangerous officer is destined for failure. 

A generally positive officer will be more adept to curb disappointment and learn from it. Disappointment is, after all, relative. What may be a large disappointment to one person may not be as big of a deal to another. Allowing negativity to permeate your thoughts will only allow it to manifest itself into a reality. 

We all struggle with our daily obstacles. It is hard to explain to one person what another is feeling. What you experience stress over may be a common experience to another. What we all must realize, is that remaining positive, even when it seems hard, is essential to success. Nothing in life is going to flow smoothly; we must take our experiences and use them to our advantage. Learn from these experiences every single day. We, as officers, are creatures of success. Do not allow negativity to manifest itself into your reality.